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Letter "J" » Jack Handy Quotes
«Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it, little friend.»
«If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now»
Author: Jack Handy (Writer) | About: Relationships, Richness | Keywords: Get Real
«One thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse»
«Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder. But not any man is capable of being a good camper. So, murder and camping are not as similar as you might think.»
«If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone.»
Author: Jack Handy (Writer) | Keywords: drop, keys, lava, molten, river, River Went
«The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face»
«Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.»
«If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.»
«I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.»
«Perhaps, if I am very lucky, the feeble efforts of my lifetime will someday be noticed, and maybe, in some small way, they will be acknowledged as the greatest works of genius ever created by Man»

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