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Letter "J" » Johnny Carson Quotes
«If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.»
Author: Johnny Carson (Host) | About: Funny | Keywords: Elvis, fair
«I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.»
«Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?''»
«Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.»
Author: Johnny Carson (Host)
«If variety if the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam»
Author: Johnny Carson (Host) | About: Marriage | Keywords: leftover, spam, spice, variety
«Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.»
«The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money»
Author: Johnny Carson (Host) | About: Money
«Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.»
Author: Johnny Carson (Host) | About: Democracy | Keywords: vice president
«He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner»
Author: Johnny Carson (Host) | Keywords: A.D., ad lib, baked, bean, fart, farts, Lib
«I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.»

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