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Letter "J" » Jack Handy Quotes
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«To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| About:
Boxing
| Keywords:
ballet, ballets, ballet dancer, boxing, choreography, dancers, music box
«Folks still remember the day ole Bob Riley came bouncing down that dirt road in his pickup. Pretty soon, it was bouncing higher and higher. The tires popped, and the shocks broke, but that truck kept bouncing. Some say it bounced clean over the moon, but whoever says that is a goddamn liar.»
«If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
come up, courses, jumping, jump off, laughing, Laugh It Off, laugh off, swashbuckling
«One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake»
«He was the kind of man who was not ashamed to show affection. I guess that's what I hated about him.»
«I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy - something like that.»
«Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start imagining: What if there were no civilization out there? No cities, no factories, no people? And then I think: No people or factories? Then who made this car? And this highway? And I get so confused I have to stick my head out the window into the driving rain---unless there's lightning, because I could get struck on the head by a bolt.»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
across, bolt, bolted, bolt of lightning, cars, car window, cities, confused, desert, driving, factories, head start, highway, imagining, in the middle, lightning, Lightning Strikes, stick, struck, window
«The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard and saved his money. True, working at the hardware store didn't pay much, but he felt it was better than what everybody else did, which was go up to the volcano and collect the gold nuggets it shot out every day. It turned out he was right. After forty years, the volcano petered out. Everybody left town, and the hardware store went broke. Finally he decided to collect gold nuggets too, but there weren't many left by then. Plus, he broke his leg and the doctor's bills were real high.»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
bills, Bill of Rights, broke, collect, go up, grandfather, great grandfather, hardware, hardware store, laughed, leg, nugget, peter out, plus, The Doctor, turned out, volcano, volcanoes
«I think people tend to forget that trees are living creatures. They're sort of like dogs. Huge, quiet, motionless dogs, with bark instead of fur.»
«Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.»
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