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Letter "R" » Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
«My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.»
«I'm so ugly - I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian) | About: Ugliness | Keywords: PET, pets, shop, worked
«I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian) | About: Drinking | Keywords: olive, sample, samples, urine
«Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about»
«At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian) | About: Hope | Keywords: reform, seventies, seventy
«This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.»
«I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.»
«Life is just a bowl of pits.»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian) | About: Life | Keywords: bowl, pits
«I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.»
«With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.»

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