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Letter "P" » Phyllis Diller Quotes
«There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?»
«Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out»
Author: Phyllis Diller | Keywords: eat out, get rid of, odors
«Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.»
«Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.»
Author: Phyllis Diller | Keywords: Chinese, rice, threw, wedding
«My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor»
«Our dog died from licking our wedding picture»
Author: Phyllis Diller | Keywords: licking, wedding
«There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto»
«Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves»
Author: Phyllis Diller | Keywords: gloved, gloves, spots
«My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.»
Author: Phyllis Diller | Keywords: Mother in Law
«Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age / as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.»
Author: Phyllis Diller | Keywords: eyesight, fades

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