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Letter "M" » Mitch Hedberg Quotes
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«...and then at the end of the letter I like to write P.S. - this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
«What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street... It's a way to open shit...»
«I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
«I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. There's a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
«Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
«A severed foot is the perfect stocking stuffer.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
«The thing about tennis is: no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're fucking relentless.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
«I think that they should call a cheese grater by its real name...a sponge ruiner.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
«Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. 'Look what I got... This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick somethin' up.'»
«Kinko's is my favourite copy place cause it's open 24 hours, like if it's three in the morning, and I suddenly decide I need two of something, I'm covered.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
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