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Letter "C" » Conan O'Brien Quotes
«Michael Jackson was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It caused quite a controversy, because his nose isn't eligible for another fifteen years.»
«Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge has unveiled a new color-coded system to warn the public about different states of danger. Red is the highest state of alert, and it means that Dick Cheney is about to eat a mozzarella stick.»
«Yesterday in Egypt, archaeologists discovered the burial site for the 50 children of Ramses II... Fifty children! What I want to know is, who decided to name a condom after this guy?»
«A public relations firm said that rock star David Lee Roth owes them over $110,000. The strange thing is that it's the first time that David Lee Roth has had any publicity in ten years.»
«Early on, they were timing my contract with an egg timer.»
Author: Conan O'Brien (Writer) | About: Time | Keywords: contract, early on, egg timer, timer, timing
«Vanity Fair magazine reports that former President Clinton and Al Gore haven't spoken to each other since George W. Bush's inauguration. Not only that, Bill and his wife, Hillary, haven't spoken since Richard Nixon's inauguration.»
«Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen.»
«Baseball said it's instituting tougher steriod testing. For the 1st offense, players get a 10-game suspension. For repeat offenses, players will get a batting championship.»
«If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people willthink you're drunk.»
«Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'»
Author: Conan O'Brien (Writer) | About: Coffee, Funny

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