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Letter "S" » Steven Wright Quotes
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«Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!»
Author: Steven Wright
(Comedian)
«I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'»
Author: Steven Wright
(Comedian)
«I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.»
Author: Steven Wright
(Comedian)
«a tax on people who are bad at math.»
Author: Steven Wright
(Comedian)
«I bought an occassional table........sometimes it's a microwave oven.»
Author: Steven Wright
(Comedian)
«The statue is permanently out of place in my house,»
Author: Steven Wright
(Comedian)
«It happens so fast, and I've been doing it so long that it's unconscious,»
Author: Steven Wright
(Comedian)
«I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.»
Author: Steven Wright
(Comedian)
«I haven't done a film in about five years and I want to do more. It's not a matter of expense, because budgets are low, it's the problem of not having a really good idea.»
Author: Steven Wright
(Comedian)
«The uncertainty is petrol prices,»
Author: Steven Wright
(Comedian)
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