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«The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started?»
«USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.»
«To understand reality is not the same as to know about outward events. It is to perceive the essential nature of things. The best-informed man is not necessarily the wisest. Indeed there is a danger that precisely in the multiplicity of his knowledge he will lose sight of what is essential. But on the other hand, knowledge of an apparently trivial detail quite often makes it possible to see into the depth of things. And so the wise man will seek to acquire the best possible knowledge about events, but always without becoming dependent upon this knowledge. To recognize the»
«The mind never need stop growing. Indeed, one of the few experiences which never pall is the experience of watching one's own mind and how it produces new interests, responds to new stimuli, and develops new thoughts, apparently without effort and almost independently of one's own conscious control.»
«We continue to be exasperated by the view, apparently gaining momentum in certain circles, that armed robbery is okay as long as nobody gets hurt! The proper solution to armed robbery is a dead robber, on the scene.»
«This is the fundamental premise of how the U.S. legal system functions ? you are responsible for your own actions. God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, the Grand Master of the KKK, the President of Ford Motor Company cannot be held responsible for your actions. God doesn't go to jail for the pound of weed you got caught going over the Laredo with - even though he apparently has the knowledge, power, and care to prevent it ? you go to jail. God passes go and the courts collect two hundred dollars.»
«The Michigan Republican primary apparently is tighter than Willie Nelson's headband.»
«Twenty-one years ago today Saddam Hussein was first elected president of Iraq and he has been re-elected ever since. Apparently they have the same electoral process we do, you don't need the popular vote to win.»
«There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends»
«The jargon of these sculptors is beyond me. I do not know precisely why I admire a green granite female, apparently pregnant monster with one eye going around a square corner.»

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