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«Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly.»
«Some Democrats say the estimated $60 billion dollar cost of a war with Iraq could be better spent at home. When he heard that, President Bush agreed and announced plans to bomb Ohio.»
«Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the President of the United States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment family.»
«Congress, the press, and the bureaucracy too often focus on how much money or effort is spent, rather than whether the money or effort actually achieves the announced goal.»
«President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy, they can have a good health care plan, and they can have a free and fair voting. Iraq? We can't even get this in Florida.»
«My dear boy, why don't you try acting? (on the set of 'Marathon Man', to Dustin Hoffman, who had announced that he'd gone 3 days without sleep in order to 'become' his character»
«CABBAGE, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. The cabbage is so called from Cabagius, a prince who on ascending the throne issued a decree appointing a High Council of Empire consisting of the members of his predecessor's Ministry and the cabbages in the royal garden. When any of his Majesty's measures of state policy miscarried conspicuously it was gravely announced that several members of the High Council had been beheaded, and his murmuring subjects were appeased.»
«On 16 September 1985, when the Commerce Department announced that the United States had become a debtor nation, the American Empire died.»
«John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take her back to the place where he first proposed to her ? at her bank.»
«Dick Cheney has announced that he has agreed to be Bush's running mate in 2004. Cheney says wants four more years as vice president, but I get the feeling Cheney wants four more years at anything. He said the only thing that could keep him from running is another double bacon cheeseburger.»

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