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Letter "J" » Jack Benny Quotes
«My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.»
Author: Jack Benny (Entertainer) | About: Men and Women | Keywords: argument, consider, divorce, divorces, divorcing, forties, forty-seven, forty, married, Mary, Mary I, murder, murdering, My Wife, serious, seven, sevens, Seven Years, wife, yes
«A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.»
Author: Jack Benny (Entertainer) | About: Funny | Keywords: dressed, following, kid, schmuck, scout, scouting, Scouts, scout troop, troop, twelve
«Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.»
Author: Jack Benny (Entertainer) | Keywords: clubs, fresh, Fresh Air, golf club, golf clubs, partner
«I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.»
Author: Jack Benny (Entertainer) | Keywords: insurance, prudential
«I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.»
Author: Jack Benny (Entertainer) | Keywords: arthritis, award, awarded, awarding
«Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.»
Author: Jack Benny (Entertainer)
«It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.»
Author: Jack Benny (Entertainer) | Keywords: pause
«Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces»
Author: Jack Benny (Entertainer) | Keywords: cut into, ham, ham sandwich, Hors, oeuvre, sandwich, sandwiches
«Modesty is my best quality»
Author: Jack Benny (Entertainer) | About: Modesty | Keywords: modesty
«Gags die, humor doesn't»
Author: Jack Benny (Entertainer) | About: Humor, Jokes | Keywords: gag, Gags
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