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Letter "D" » Dave Barry Quotes
«It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.»
«I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.»
«We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin.»
«We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it»
«Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages»
«There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.»
«I've gained a few pounds around the middle. The only lower-body garments I own that still fit me comfortably are towels.»
«Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.»
«Puns are little 'plays on words' that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead.»
«Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.»

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