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Letter "B" » Billy Connolly Quotes
«?So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel??»
«The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started?»
«I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. . . . That can keep me awake for days..»
«Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.»
Author: Billy Connolly (Actor) | Keywords: cosey, tea, tea cosey
«It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.»
«Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.»
Author: Billy Connolly (Actor) | About: Marriage | Keywords: invention, kit, repair, then again
«There are two seasons in Scotland: June and winter.»
Author: Billy Connolly (Actor) | Keywords: June, Scotland, seasons
«I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do.»
«What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?»
«I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.»

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