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They're not blind. They don't have hair on their palms. Even so, they still masturbate. Of all the topics that continually find themselves under attack, none seems to be restricted solely to quiet, taboo conversations as often as masturbation. For countless generations, this subject has been put down, looked down on, and kept behind closed doors, and no one is really sure why. "It's immoral", or "its dirty" are the best anyone has come up …

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…good, so I personally will it to be universal law. The Categorical Imperative supports masturbation. Masturbation has withstood the test. These theories, which have been the most influencial of recent times, all either support or do not expressly forbid masturbation. If you don't want to do it, that's fine, that's your own personal preference. But next time someone tells you its "immoral", you'll be able to tell them otherwise. Thanks for listening, and have fun!